When All My “Extra” Was Stripped Away

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Just a little over a month ago, my husband and I signed papers to purchase a house that we thought was move-in ready. But it wasn’t.
We had the keys, but we didn’t have the ability to move in. The kitchen, the bedrooms, the basement – none of it was usable to us until some things could be fixed.
We waited. We prayed. We adapted and stored our things in the garage and threw out all “our” plans. God sent wonderful people to help us and somehow (I don’t know how He does it, but He always does) provided the funds for everything necessary to get done.
And slowly, I watched all my “extra” slip through my fingers, like grains of sand do when you’re at the beach and you sift them through the palm of your hand. By “extra,” I mean all those little things I do for my family that help keep us going, that help my children thrive, that help me feel like I’m doing a good job at this motherhood thing.
No place to feed my sourdough starter. Gave up and threw it in the trash one day. No homemade bread for my family this month.
No place to set up our homeschool or plan the year properly. They are always learning; reading and studying plants and bugs and counting out how many snacks each child gets to ensure everything’s equal. But my Charlotte-Mason-homeschooling-mom hat came dangerously close to slipping off my head a few times. Learning on the go will have to do. The kids will have to adapt, too.
No energy at the end of a long day of moving/rearranging things and organizing people and tasks to read aloud to my children. An audiobook or a movie will have to stand in for Mom.
Now that we’re at the end of the Month When All Our Extra Was Stripped Away, and we’re settling in to our house and a more normal routine, I can look back and say that (thankfully short) season taught me three things:

1. The kids were still ok. They woke up in the morning, they talked and laughed throughout the day, they thought it was all a grand adventure, in fact they delighted in the change in routine. Yes they survived almost solely on burgers and pizza for a month; but no one got sick. They did in fact survive.
2. I am pitifully dependent on those little creature comforts that we take so for granted. Like quiet time at the end of the day with everyone in their own separate bed, sleeping. Like a toaster with butter and jam ready for a personal snack. Like a routine and the ability to stick with it. I can laugh now at how not having those comforts felt like being lost at sea, but it left me with a sobering question: why do I depend on these things so much?
3. I took pride in all my “extra.” There, I said it: the hardest lesson learned during last month was the most humbling one. All those extra things don’t make me a good mom; they don’t make the world turn; and they don’t make me worthwhile to God.
   The world turns because HE spins it in His hand, day by day
   I am a good mom because I am the mom that HE chose for these three children.
   I am worthwhile to God because I am HIS, and because of who HE IS.
   

Then one day (when we finally had a usable kitchen) I was cracking eggs for breakfast. One tiny, stubborn bit of shell snuck its way into the bowl. I stood there for at least two full minutes trying to retrieve this slippery bit of shell with a spoon. And the Lord whispered gently to me: “That’s how diligent I am with the broken pieces in your heart.” He will stand over my heart, watching, working diligently until all the broken pieces are picked up and swept away.

And that’s the most important lesson I learned during the Month Of No Extra. That sometimes God strips away your Extra so He can get at what’s left. That is, you.

Have you ever had a time when you felt like all your “extra” was stripped away? I would love to hear it (we can swap war stories!) Feel free to use the comment box below to share!

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…” (Ephesians 3:20).

Laura