Marriage

My daughter loves gifts.

She loves to receive gifts and she loves to give gifts.  She treasures small trinkets and dreams of dramatic surprises.  She remembers who got her that art kit last year and she recalls the teddy bear she picked out for her cousin’s birth.

She also loves to make a game out of giving gifts.  She’s been known to travel purposefully through the house, picking out things for a certain someone, and carefully wrapping them with whatever material she can find.  Her favorite part is presenting her treasures to her unsuspecting loved one and waiting expectantly for the smile to spread across their face.

Yesterday she brought me a crumpled plastic grocery bag.  “MOMMY, look!”  Her excitement kept her feet dancing as she waited for my smile to match hers.  On first glance the plastic bag didn’t look like anything special.  But I’ve learned not to take it lightly when she brings me a present with a purpose.  So I opened it slowly and showered down kisses and smiles when I found the three My Little Ponies wrapped carefully, lovingly inside.  She knows I love horses.  And she picked them out just for me.

A treasure in a messy wrapping.  Not unlike our families.

You see, family itself is a gift, a thoughtful treasure to be unwrapped, a present with a purpose.

Do you remember Adam?  The first man?  God made everything else, then made Adam, then stepped back to assess His creation.  It was good.

But He didn’t stop there.  He didn’t stop at good.  You see, God loved Adam, and didn’t want him to be lonely.  So He created Eve, and gave them the instructions to “be fruitful and multiply.”

God’s institution of family happened before the Fall.  Now I’m no theologian.  But that says something to me.  If family is a pre-fall invention, then family is an inherently good thing.  It’s a gift authored and prepared by the One who loves us best.

I know the packaging doesn’t always look like we expected it to.  And isn’t that when we have a hard time finding contentment, friends?  When the gift comes a little rough around the edges, a little worse for wear, instead of the shiny perfect wrapping paper we had hoped for?

When there’s more month than money… Having people to care for is a gift.

When the children are sick and you’re on your own caring for them, mama… the fact that you get to be with them is a gift.

When time together in marriage isn’t exactly what you thought it would be, hoped it could be, when date nights are few and far between… marriage itself is still a gift.

When the children are fighting, tantruming, or whining… the fact that they have breath in their lungs to holler with is a gift.

When the laundry pile has become a force of its own and threatens to bury you all… having people to wash clothes for is a gift.

When communication is a lot more work than you thought it would be, and you just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye… your spouse is still a gift.

When the to-do list gets longer, not shorter, every day, and grown-up responsibilities overwhelm… each new morning is a gift.

When busy or trying seasons come, and not every emotional need is being met… just being together is still a gift.

Friends, I know that family life and grown-up responsibilities can just be plain hard sometimes.  I know that as women it seems like we are wired to want better for our families… to push for more in our relationships… to hope for growth for our spouses, ourselves, and our children.

Our hopes and desires are all for good things, healthy things.  But let’s not let perfectionism steal our joy over what we have.  As we fuss over the wrapping, let’s not forget the treasure that’s already been given.

Treasure that’s been carefully selected, just for us, with our joy in mind, not unlike my daughter’s ponies.  I tucked them back in their bag and watched the thoughtful giver run off to play.  And thought about how we are all treasures in jars of clay (1 Cor. 4:7).  The jar may be chipped.  It may be a bit dusty.  It may not be as shiny as we had expected it to be.

But there’s a gift inside.  Because just being part of a family is a gift.  Just having people to care for is a gift.  Just waking up in the morning with everyone breathing and together is a gift.

God didn’t have to give us any of this.  He didn’t have to give us each other.  But He chose to, because He loves us.

And I’m thankful.  I’m thankful to the Giver of all good things for this messy gift called Family.

 

Loving our Treasures Together,

 

Laura Jane