Soak
Soak in His love.
What a refreshing resolution, what a lovely invitation, what a comforting “word for the year.”
Soak.
For once, it’s not a thing to do or a goal to check off or how much better I can be. It’s an understanding of what’s already been done. A remembering of His great love. A beckoning to refill and refuel. How could I resist?
On Monday there was the Scripture, from John chapter 6. The bit under the heading “Jesus walks on water.” But the walking on water isn’t what grabbed my attention that morning. The words that leapt off the page were these: “Once the crowd realized that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they got into the boats and went to Capernaum in search of Jesus” (v. 24). They went looking for Him. Because even though Jesus is always right here… and He’s promised to never leave… sometimes He wants us to come look for Him. To do our part. To take the time to say Yes to Him. To be on guard. To watch for the evidence of His love in our lives and to make time and space for Him to continue showing it.
On Tuesday there was a determination to notice. To take it all in. To listen to their giggles as they’re playing upstairs. To just sit and watch how she twirls in her ballet tutu, pink from head to toe. To not just hold him, but really notice the chubby little hands and how they grip my neck. To sit and read her stories, and really listen, to all twenty-seven of them. To appreciate how he dons boots and gloves to go to work again, for us. To not just see these things, but to notice that each is a gift, a little expression of God’s love in my life. A determination to not just see, but soak.
On Wednesday there was a solitary jog. Seven year-old running shoes pounding pavement while worship songs blasted in earbuds. Not just for the sake of the exercise… but for the sake of making new memories with Him who knows me best… and who loves me best. Because if I’m really going to soak in His love… I might have to once in a while find a quiet time and place to do it.
On Thursday there was a remembering. A remembering of the poem I wrote twelve… no, thirteen… years ago, at the discipleship school, when first I was really freed by His grace, when first I understood what His love is: a gift, not to be earned, but already paid, and freely given. It’s a simple, childlike even, poem that went like this:
Worth Every Drop
Drops of blood spilled for me
Not one, or two, or even three
But more than that, He freely gave
Gave so I could be a slave?
No, not a slave of God above
He gave His blood to buy my love.
That was yesterday. Today I’m writing to you. Because maybe, dear friend, you need to hear it too?
To hear that His love for you is not attached to strings or expectation. To hear that He freely gave His blood, to buy your love… and that you were worth every drop to Him. To hear that it is ok… it is not selfish… to slow down, to take time, to make time to just soak. Soak in the Love that came down from Heaven and fought for you. For you.
After all, it’s a New Year. Chances are, you’ve got a few goals too. If you’re neck deep in family life like this mama is, then I know the demands are many and the chances to refuel are few.
But if we want to be prepared to meet those demands… and not just meet them in the most basic way, but in an understanding, giving, I-care-about-you kind of way, then don’t we need to be filled up in order to do it?
Because I don’t know about you, friend, but this heart of mine, it’s like a sponge. What it sits in, it takes in.
And maybe… just maybe… if I’ve been soaking in His love,
When I get squeezed by stress and worry and places to be
When I get squeezed by needing to serve, needing to help, again
When I get squeezed by the diapers and the dishes and the budget
When I get squeezed by internal pressures like loneliness, confusion or fear
Maybe His love will come out.
Maybe if I’ve soaked in His love long enough,
It will saturate this sponge beating in my chest
So that when it’s squeezed,
His love will come out
And pour over onto those who mean the most.
You are worth every drop.
Laura Jane
Dear Reader: Do you have a Resolution, or a Word for the Year? If so, I’d love to hear what it is, and how you plan to make it a priority. Not looking for any specific “answers”… just looking to build community and start conversation! You are invited to share your ideas by commenting below. Thank you.